Today she tried to copy me by buying a pair of shoes with similar design as mine.
I feel really irritated every time she tries to copy me.
I feel so disgusted.
It's as if I fell into some dung pit;
I feel utterly dirty, disgusting...
And I loath myself so much.
I think I killed her in her last life when she's a cockroach.
That's way she's so fucking irritating to me in this life.
When she eats, she munches.
And it gives me a nervous breakdown.
Period.
When she sings, she crows.
And her vocals makes me feel like I NEVER want to listen to that song.
Ever.
When she sleeps, she makes lots of funny sounds.
And her snores is even audible from next door.
Serious.
When she walks, she swings.
And her swaggering makes me feel like even a grizzly is more elegant than she is.
Idiot.
Every single thing she does makes me dislike her.
Why dislike, you may ask.
Because, obviously, she isn't even worth me hating her.
I don't wanna waste my emotions and time hating a rubbish.
End of story.
But I HATE her trying to copy me.
Whenever mom wanna go out with the both of us,
I always make sure I don't wear similar things as she does.
If she wears skirt, I'll wear jeans.
If she wears shorts, I'll wear skirt.
If she wears black, I'll wear white.
If she wears pink, I'll wear black.
If she wears slippers, I'll wear shoes.
If she brings her Elle bag, I'll bring my Suisui bag.
But things don't always go my way.
She love to let me change first by playing the waiting game.
'Cuz we'll get scolded if we aren't ready by the time mom is,
so we have to change fast.
And she takes advantage of this.
So when I wear a black top with shorts,
she'll copy me.
And then when we're out,
She'll say things like "hey, we're wearing sisters outfit."
FUCK THAT BLOODY DAMNED COCK SHIT.
And when I change out of my outfit
after seeing that she wears exactly the same things I did,
She'll change her outfit too.
BLASTED PIECE OF RETARDED SHIT.
And then when I've planned to wear my silver shoes,
She'll "coincidentally" take out her black shoes.
(they're of an identical design; the only difference between them is the colours)
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG?!
Seeing that, I changed my plans immediately.
I pulled out my slippers instead.
(YES, I'd rather roam Orchard with a pair of tattered slippers than wear the same shoes as she does.)
Then she, too, "just happened" to have a change of plans.
FUCKING ASSHOLE WITH PEA-SIZED BRAINS.
And whenever people say:
"OMG, these two siblings look just like twins!"
She'll get high over it and say:
"SEE, xxx says we're twins lehhh!!!"
and then show me that "see, we're almost twins. HAHAHA." kind of bastard look.
WHAT THE FUCK.
The first thing I thought about when people say that is:
"What the hell is wrong with xxx's eyes. I think they need a check-up."
The first thing I say is:
"No, we're different. My eyes is bigger."
The first reaction I get is:
"No la, you're two are like peas from the same pod."
And then I get that desperate and urgent desire to pull my hair out;
or grab xxx by the collar and TELL xxx that we're not the bloody same.
I would have cut my hair short if it wasn't that my hair will be so untidy then. Idiot. I'll do anything to be different from her. I'll probably buy that $55 bag I saw at Tampines. Reason? Not that I love it so much. But that I won't have to carry that Elle bag out of pure desperation and that, well, she being the money conscious bitch who gets a nervous breakdown when she loses a 10 cent coin, will never bear to part with $55 to buy that bag.
My black bag is tattered. My pink bag is too kiddish. So theoretically, I've got lots of bags I can use, but in practical terms, the ones I always use is but just two of them --- the hot pink Elle bag which I use it for school, shopping, meetings etc, and the brown white Suisui bag which can hold nothing but tissues, handphone, cash, and cards (It can't even contain my purse.)
I'm so tired now. If you're wondering how I'm treating her now, I've deleted her from my facebook accounts to avoid her from stalking me. I've even gone as far as banning her in Arena after I found out that she copied my Arena status and pasted it onto her facebook status. And in real life, I'm practically treating her as invisible. I won't be bothered with her unless mannerism and my mother-ism requires me to.
I really dislike her so much. So much so that I thought of jumping out of the window when I was just eight years old and still living at circuit road block 40.
And then that thought disappeared.
I thought it might be fairer if she was the one who jumped.
Yes, murderous thoughts came to me.
One thousand and one ways of killing someone came rushing to me.
Knife? Chair? Punches?
Anything and everything.
And then people started to think "oh, her character is better now."
what a fool those people were.
because until today, she's still ridiculing me with her copy tricks.
And then I've thought of extreme dieting many a time.
Not for cosmetic purposes.
but that I just want to be different from her.
so different that people will never see us as sisters.
because in reality,
i never saw her as a sister.
and never did she.
